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Decisions, Decisions… Am I Ready to Give Up the Academic Dream? #PhDTips
I’m terrible at making decisions – my family even send me restaurant menus a day in advance. The fear of ‘making the wrong choice’ simply paralyses my mental faculties. But as I muddle through my PhD, I realise I am on the cusp of a serious choice that could shape my whole future – a decision which every scientist battles with at some point, whether consciously or not.
Put simply – do I want to be an ‘expert’ and really specialise in something, or a ‘generalist’ who draws on broad scientific themes instead? Do I want a narrow, but deep knowledge, or a shallower information-base that touches on a bit of everything? When I was at school, I always dreamed of becoming a ‘Professor’ and a ‘World Authority’, cultivating my own unique scientific niche over the course of my entire life. The title and prestige that goes with this path still appeals, but dedicating myself to a very narrow field has started to lose its attraction. Apart from the lucky few in the upper echelons, it seems to cost an awful lot of stress and pressure (constantly chasing funding, managing students, working unsocial hours, etc.) for disproportionately low returns (dry reports in obscure journals that hardly anyone will read).
Instead, I find myself more attracted to careers that actually use science to influence our lives for the better: science communication, public engagement and science policy for instance. But this would mean giving up the hallowed mantle of being a true, dedicated ‘expert’ in something. I would spend my time reporting and commenting on research done by others, rather than myself. I wouldn’t have that boundless thrill of being able to follow my own curiosity and explore a topic as deeply as I could go. On the other hand, it could bring the opportunity for me to keep tabs on a whole range of exciting fields and emerging technologies. I could be involved in projects that put research into action on topics that I really value – such as conservation and food security.
Don’t misunderstand me – I still definitely want to work in science and with scientists. I do worry that hanging up my lab coat would cause me to be seen as an ‘outsider’. This is where having a PhD can be so valuable, as it should, in theory, demonstrate that I understand the language, motivations and pressures of scientific research. It can sometimes feel that if you don’t stay within academia, then you have ‘wasted’ your PhD – but clearly this is not the case. The transferable skills you develop lend themselves to a whole host of careers, both within science and outside of it.
Of course, these days things are never set in stone – people make dramatic career changes even late in life. That said, it can still be difficult for people to re-enter the competitive research environment after a break. And the earlier you can start your true vocation for life, the more time you have to build up those key skills and contacts.
As I still have a year to go, fortunately, I don’t have to make this decision yet. But it’s always at the back of my mind, surfacing during careers seminars and when I spot enticing job alerts. I have learned, however, that my reluctance to make decisions comes from believing that there is always a right or wrong answer – so I naturally worry that I will take the wrong option and be plagued with regret afterwards. It’s far better to think of our options instead as simply different experiences; neither are perfect and each brings their own compromises. The best we can aspire to is finding that inner content that comes from knowing that, using the information available at the time, we made the best possible choice for ourselves. Then go with your choice, give yourself fully to it, and don’t look back.
Caroline Wood is midway through a PhD studying parasitic weeds at the University of Sheffield. When she’s not agonising over her experiments, she loves to write and will cover most scientific topics if they stay still long enough.
In her spare time, she enjoys helping at public outreach events, hill walking and escapism at the cinema. She blogs at: